Hi and welcome to The Ladybird Purse, my weekly newsletter about women and money. I’m not a financial advisor and am in no way qualified to give financial advice. I’m not even confident on what day it is…
Yesterday, I had an editing job to do. It took longer than I expected and while I did have a slight nagging feeling that I’d forgotten something, it wasn’t enough to distract me. And then, at the end of the day, I remembered I hadn’t sent this newsletter. I think that’s the first time in two years I’ve actually forgotten it, which is not bad going. But still. Sorry about that.
Anyway. First up, if you enjoyed my interview with Natalie Lue, I think you might appreciate her recent post about decluttering:
Another post I enjoyed was this collection of (tongue-in-cheek?) meditations:
My favourite was this one about winning the lottery:
“You’re a winner!” she shrieks but then clamps her hand over her mouth. “Sorry! Sorry! But! You’ve just won $20 million!” She encourages you to write your name and address on the back of the ticket and her voice becomes a hum as she explains what you should do next. All you are thinking about is your dear friend who has been so afraid she will miss a mortgage repayment after being made redundant. You will pay off her mortgage. You know that much. You will help all of the people you love.
Years ago, I read about someone who was checking their lottery lines and saw they’d got (I think) five numbers plus the bonus? This was a long time ago, so I might be misremembering, but as far as I remember it, they had to phone up and it was only when they phoned that they learned that, yes, they’d won, I don’t know, £1000, but they actually had all six numbers and they’d won the jackpot. £16 million.
I remember getting butterflies when I read that. I mean, can you imagine the excitement? The fear? I was writing young adult novels at the time and immediately started thinking about a 16yo winning £16million. I never actually wrote the book, but my friend Keren David did: Lia’s Guide to Winning the Lottery. (I cried when I heard what she was writing, annoyed with myself for not writing it first. But, as Liz Gilbert says, if you don’t grab onto an idea when it comes to you, it’ll go and find someone who will.)
But I digress. I love the last line of Emily’s meditation “You will help all of the people you love.”
Back when I played the National Lottery, when I thought it actually could be me, I would worry about this. Obviously I’d give some to my sister and my aunt on my mum’s side, but did that mean I’d also have to give some to my other aunt? The one who had loads of money, but didn’t enjoy it? And if I gave some to my aunts, would my husband (at the time) have to give some to his aunts too? All of them? He had four. And also one uncle who no one in the family liked. Would we have to give them a fixed amount each or could we we give more to the ones we actually liked?
And then we’d obviously buy a new house. And a car or two. And there’d be dream holidays to take… Often, thinking about this lying in bed, I’d start to stress myself out with the logistics and admin, before remembering it wasn’t an issue since I hadn’t actually won and I’d feel almost relieved. Ridiculous.
Now I’m much more comfortable thinking about it. I would travel with my boys. I’d help my friends. I no longer have to concern myself with all the aunties. I would focus on joy.
I was trying to find a gif of the National Lottery “it could be you” finger when I spotted that it started in 1994. Which is (somehow) thirty years ago.
Long enough ago that I chose my numbers based on Blackburn Rovers players shirt numbers. 6 - Graham Le Saux. 9 - Alan Shearer. 16 - Chris Sutton. (I’d just started going to the football, just started dating a man I met at a Spurs game.)
We won a few times - £40 here, £90 there - but I stopped buying tickets a long time ago. But because I knew my numbers, I always worried that I’d see my numbers had won and that would, you know, ruin my life. But now I don’t remember the other three numbers and I never see the winning numbers anyway.
I do still have what I guess you could call a lottery mindset though. I’m still waiting for the windfall that will change my life. Most likely in the form of a big book deal. It has happened to so many of my friends lately! Or maybe just a mysterious benefactor? Often when I check my bank balance, I wonder if someone’s sent me a bunch of money. Just to be nice. It hasn’t happened yet, but it still could!
I’ve been working my way through Annie Ridout’s backlist - I love how she writes about money and creative magic - and I enjoyed her post about the lottery too
Oh and I couldn’t possibly write about the lottery without mentioning the friend of a friend who, years ago, won £2 on a scratch card and came out of the newsagent’s to find his bike had been nicked.
How about you? Do you play the lottery? Do you fantasise about how you’d spend it? Do you think it really could be you?
Paid subscriptions enable me to keep writing these newsletters and not buying scratchcards. If you’re not a paid subscriber already, I’d love it if you’d consider upgrading. (And if you are, thank you, I love you.)
If you would like a paid sub, but can’t swing it right now, email me and I’ll sort it.
If you’d prefer not to subscribe, but would still like to support me/this newsletter, you can you can buy me a coffee.
An interview with Jan Cornall
Jan Cornall has worked in the creative arts industry since she was 18. She’s been a performer, singer, songwriter, playwright, screen writer, author, poet, teacher, mentor, traveller and for the last 20 years she has been taking writers and artists on creative journeys to inspiring international locations.
Jan’s novel Take Me to Paradise and her collection of stories, songs and poems Archipelagogo are set in Indonesia. Her most recent memoir, published in 2023 on Substack, Looking for Duras, a Mekong Journey, is set in Vietnam and Cambodia. Jan lives in Sydney, has two grown up kids and five grandkids.
www.writersjourney.com.au | Instagram
What is your relationship with money currently?
Actually it’s quite good. Early in the year I started a new journal and decided to use it like a vision board. I’d just been bingeing the podcast Reinvent Yourself by neuroscientist, Dr Tara Swart and she swore by her vision board. I didn’t have a bit of board so devoted several pages to pasting in cut out images from magazines on various pages. I kept being drawn to pictures of expensive jewels — diamonds and gemstones, stuff I would never wear, but gave me a thrill to look at. I randomly dotted them across my affirmation map where among other things I wrote ‘money comes to me, lots of money comes to me’ and ‘all my health problems are resolved’ and I would repeat this like a mantra when I was out on my walks.
That was early January. At the end of Feb I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer and early March had a unilateral mastectomy. I decided to forgo chemo and radiotherapy in favour of a non-invasive medical treatment in Japan where they enhance your immune cells so they can do the job of cleaning up any cancer that may still be lurking.
Problem was the treatment is expensive and I had nothing in the kitty. So the day before surgery I launched a fundraiser on Facebook entertaining my followers with a farewell ode to my left breast, called Leftie Bestie. In the first week we raised 10k and currently it’s sitting at 27k.
The letters to Leftie Bestie are ongoing and I’m posting them on my Substack with the view to turning them into a memoir. When I wrote the affirmation ‘money comes to me’ I didn’t of course have cancer in mind. But ‘all my health problems’ as it turned out were in urgent need of being sorted.
My cancer has put me in touch with a wonderful cancer adviser and researcher who is now helping me address the other health issues needing attention. For someone with quite a lot of negative issues around money it has reinforced my faith in the generosity of friends, community and the universe at large.
What’s your earliest money memory?
Finding threepences in the plum pudding at Christmas at my grandparent’s house. It was quite a magical experience and after we had collected our threepences (maybe two or three each) my grandpa would perform tricks making a threepence disappear and come out your ear. Later we could walk to the corner shop and buy threepence worth of lollies. To this day a threepence (no longer in circulation) carries the feeling of magic and love.
Another memory is playing shops, using buttons for money and the wooden drawers of my grandmother’s sewing machine for cash register drawers. I recall the smooth curve of the wood and the elegant feel of the buttons, counting them out one by one, each a different shape and colour. Small things of perfect beauty — I still love buttons.
What advice would you give your younger self about money?
To not feel undeserving of money. To have confidence in your money making abilities. To flip your poverty mentality into a creative approach to money making. Actually you could say I have put this advice into practice in the past 20 years running my business Writer’s Journey. While it doesn’t make me a lot of money it allows me to travel as if I did.
What’s the biggest money mistake you’ve made?
Not keeping a saving habit going. I was good at saving when I was a kid and young adult. But then it all went south and I never got it back. Not tucking something away for a rainy day. Not getting life insurance so I can leave the kids something when I’m gone.
What’s the best thing you’ve ever spent money on?
Travel is my number one. Material things, no. The worst thing I ever spent money on was an expensive couch from Ikea. It was so out of place in my boheme apartment and took up too much room. Tried to sell it, no go. When we finally put it out on the street, no one wanted it. We had to get the garbos to take it away!
Do you have a retirement fund? If not, do you have a plan?
No retirement fund, but I can get a government pension which means living a frugal life. I still have fantasies of making enough money to be financially secure into my old age (80s). I’m turning 74 this year, so that gives me 6 years to do it.
What would you do with $10,000?
Travel.
What little luxury could you get with a tenner?
Two blocks (when it’s on special) of my fave organic chocolate, Pana.
If you were me, what would you want to ask women about money?
What are your negative issues around money?
Do you talk to your friends about money or is it a taboo subject?
If you are poor do you feel ok being poor? If you are rich do you feel ok being rich?
RELATED POSTS:
Love this! A friend always called playing the lottery an ‘idiot tax’. I have dabbled at times in my low moments but i think it’s a fools game, better to focus on working as best we can and learning to be happy with less!
I remember often thinking about how completely life-ending it would feel if you had your regular numbers and then forgot to play one week for whatever reason and then that week all your numbers came up 😱 luckily for me I’m far too scatterbrained to either @) remember 6 consistent numbers or b) get around to buying a ticket on anything like a regular basis (last one was years ago now). Dodged a bullet there eh 😄