"Ask for more."
How much would you pay for a concert?
Hi and welcome to The Ladybird Purse, my weekly money newsletter. I’m so happy you’re here and happy January’s over.
Just an interview this week. And an anonymous one at that.
I wish I had exciting or dramatic money news to share, but I’m just pootling along.
Oh there is one thing! Maybe you’ve been reading about the astronomical cost of tickets for Harry Styles’ upcoming tour? I’ve seen Harry a bunch of times and have paid between $25 (behind the stage in LA) and £200 (this upcoming tour). It made me wonder - what’s the most you’ve ever paid to see an artist you love? Do you set a limit before you even open Ticketmaster or do you wing it? Have you ever spent a lot and regretted it? Or spent a little and had the time of your life?
One of my earliest posts - back in 2021 - was about how going to see Harry Styles in the US in 2018 changed my relationship with money. (Also features an interview with glorious Katherine May.)
Money shame, shredded knickers, and charging what you’re worth
I was trying to think of what to write about this week and thought maybe I should start at the beginning. With my earliest money memory. Because I am lazy efficient, I searched up one of my old blogs where I knew I’d written about this before. Turns out I did a month of money posts all the way back in April 2008.
Have I at mentioned I’m writing a monthly money column for Platinum magazine?
In the current issue, I wrote about EFT tapping and in the next one, out in a couple of weeks, I wrote about actually trying a budget. If you read it, let me know what you think.
If you’re not a paid subscriber already, I’d love it if you’d consider upgrading. Paid subscribers receive a second weekly post, access to the archives, discounts on my money coaching courses - which I’m currently linking together - and me thinking “Friend!” whenever I see you online.
If you would like a paid sub, but can’t swing it right now, email me and I’ll sort it.
An anonymous interview with a freelance writer in her 40s
What is your relationship with money currently?
Overall, I feel like I’m in a pretty good place, but there’s been a lot of change in the last few years.
Until 2024, I worked full time fairly consistently, with only a week or two between jobs (excluding maternity leave). I was very used to getting a salary at the end of each month. In 2024 I went freelance, and now I feel like I spend a lot of time staring at spreadsheets of both real and hypothetical money pots. “if I get that contract”, “if this invoice is paid on time”, “set this aside for tax”.
But it’s been good for me overall. Juggling all the numbers has definitely allowed me to better understand where all the money goes. But it can be unpredictable, which is one reason why I’m currently on an unnecessary spending ban, to help make sure the coffers remain full for as long as possible.
What’s your earliest money memory?
It’s not one specific memory as much as an enduring theme. My mum was – is – dedicated to getting a bargain, and shopping trips with her as a kid were amazing. She has a knack for finding absolute gems in the sales. We are both big clothes shoppers but rarely buy anything full price.
Shopping with my mum is still one of my favourite things to do, although I’m not sure either of us have the energy we had back then. We would spend hours looking for bargains. There was a Chelsea Girl/River Island outlet store in the Bullring in Birmingham where you could get dresses for a fiver, and I did some damage there over the years.
What advice would you give your younger self about money?
Ask for more. They can only say no. To be honest, I’d say this to my younger self from a few months ago, let alone 20-something me. I talk a good game but I definitely have imposter syndrome and can undersell myself. I am very lucky to have had women across my career who have pushed me to understand my worth, and advocated for me. I’m hugely grateful for that.
I would also tell myself to think before I spend. Just because it’s cheap doesn’t mean you need it, and every time you move house you’ll regret all that stuff.
What’s the biggest money mistake you’ve made?
I once paid off some minor credit card debt with money I won through online gambling, which could have put me on a really slippery slope. Needless to say that’s not a financial strategy I have or will ever use again. Gamble responsibly, folks. Or just not at all.
What’s the best thing you’ve ever spent money on?
Book the holiday, buy the concert tickets, go out with your mates!
I’ve never regretted the money spent on experiences. I’m insufferable in the weeks running up to a holiday. The guide books come out, the spreadsheets get made. This year I made a powerpoint of hotel options and presented it to my family. I live for those few weeks away each year.
Also: the adoption fees for the two cats we’ve had. Worth every penny.
How are you planning for retirement?
I started paying into a pension when I was 30, and did so religiously when I was in full time employment. Since going freelance I’ve had to temporarily pause contributions – and I didn’t make them for the majority of my maternity leave either.
Despite feeling like what I have in there is an unbelievable amount of money, all the calculators tell me I have a massive deficit, so I’m sort of just burying my head in the sand and hoping I can start working on that again soon.
I don’t like thinking about inheritance because I want to believe my entire extended family is immortal.
What would you do with £10,000?
I’d get the side of my house repointed, buy a new mattress and redo my downstairs bathroom to get rid of the ugly rusted sink with its broken plug. There are many other things in the house I’d like to do but those are top.
What little luxury could you get with a tenner?
This is really silly, but for Christmas I got a book of cute “scenic stickers” where you build a little kawaii scene like a grocery shop for hamsters or a spa for pandas. I find them really soothing as a screen-free activity.
Either that, or a bottle of wine and a bag of giant chocolate buttons because I’m really that basic.
If you were me, what would you want to ask women about money?
I’m always interested to know how women manage finances they share with other people: not just spouses and partners but flatmates, family etc as well.
I’ve been married for over a decade but we still mostly use our individual current accounts and just share bills and expenses evenly. We finally got a joint bank account a couple of years ago but we only use that for savings. I think a lot of people may find that really weird, but it works for us. I’m so intrigued as to how other people manage it.
Money. Money. Money. Every time I read one of these I feel a bit more desensitized to my money phobia. Of course, it's part of a change of money habits, a very positive part, like a companion plant. Something that occurred to me as I read is how closely tied I've always felt my self-worth is tied to money, so "not having any" happens because I don't deserve it. Ah, things that get set in childhood... It feels like this belief that has been demagnitized and has come unstuck from me. I have a great image that feels a bit Miyazaki of this nasty little critter that I've managed to pull away from me like a tick. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go squish it so it doesn't reattach itself to me, nor reproduce, nor move on to someone else!!!
The 'ask for more' advice is evergreen but so hard to actualy implement. I've noticed with freelancers that the hardest part isn't knowing you should charge more, its the moment right before you hit send on that higher rate. The interviewee's point about imposter syndrome really resonates, especially when transitioning from salaried to freelance where theres no external validation of your worth.