Earning money, losing money, loving money

+ working out what you need and how to get it

Last week, I started a new job. It’s freelance and I can do it from home. It’s something I used to do - and really enjoyed - years ago. It’s not related to writing or art. And I got the opportunity because someone read this newsletter and emailed me and said, “Hey, would you be interested in this?”

I’ve only done two small jobs so far - and it doesn’t pay loads (but it does pay weekly, which is going to be super useful) - but my reaction to it has been really interesting. A few times when I’ve caught myself worrying about money, I’ve thought “It’s ok. There’s some money coming.” It’s such a relief. (Because I am me, I am worried that I am jinxing it by writing this. If I open my email and find the professional equivalent of a Dear John letter… I won’t be at all surprised.)

But it’s made me think. About a lot of things.

A couple of weeks ago I listened to this podcast about how to make more money as a creative. This was the bit that made me stop stirring whatever dinner I was making and scroll back to listen again:

If you're like most creative people, it's something like, "I need to find another income stream." Get a gig, or another job, or more clients, or pitch a book, or post on social media and try to sell more, or...all of the above.⠀

Sounds like a solid plan, basically. Any of those things could lead to some money.⠀
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But when all of them together don't lead to enough money, it's time to ask, why does all this activity lead to diminishing returns, and what can I do differently? When all this leads to for me is burnout, where do I go next?⠀

This is what I’ve been doing for more than ten years. With a side of but the next book could be the big one. But now that I’m on my own with two kids to support, this isn’t going to work. And honestly, it’s not working for me anyway. It’s exhausting. But what’s the alternative? I’m hoping the next episode of the above podcast will tell me. But also there’s this:

In order to figure out how to design your work life, start from what you need, and decide what you'll do and how you'll do it to conform to that.⠀

I’ve never done this. I spent a long time hiding from the reality of my outgoings and my debt and then I became determined never to do that and got on top of it with constant checking in and a meticulous spreadsheet. What I haven’t really done is look properly, realistically at my income.

Partly because it is so erratic. Partly because, yes, I’ve been imagining that the thing that will change everything, whatever that may be, is just around the corner. And partly because I just don’t know how to work out what I need and then, you know, get it. But I’m going to try. I have to.

Friends have always said to me "Everything you touch turns to gold" but I just for the life of me can't understand that. I think because they don't see all of the crap that I touched first to find the one thing that worked. I have so many failures but you can't have successes without a lot of failures, it's all part of the process.

Lynette Reed, 59, Italy

A lifelong entrepreneur and a mother of two, Lynette Reed has been creating products for candle, home fragrance, perfume brands and retailers for 26 years. Lynette is the founder and creator of Illume Candles that grew to become the industry leader at the forefront of the candle ‘boom’ and today is still regarded as a major national brand. Lynette continues consulting independently for many well-known brands and retail outlets globally as well as growing her passion for art.

Why do you think women are often reluctant to talk about money? 

I can't at all speak for other women, but for me talking about money seems to make other people uncomfortable. I've had quite a bit of money in my life, and I have had no money at other times in my life, and both situations appear to make others uncomfortable.

Could you tell me a bit more about this? Have people treated you differently when you've had it and when you haven't? 

I find people are either very impressed when you have it, or envious, competitive or jealous and all of that depends on how that person feels about themself, not really about you or money, it's their own insecurities. When you don't have it people can be condescending, pitying, arrogant, etc.

I have definitely had both sides of it. People put so much value on what others have and not enough on who they may be as a person. They also look outside of themselves too much instead of looking inward.

What’s your earliest money memory? 

When I was a child I would dream that I found buried treasure.

What, if anything, did your parents teach you about money when you were growing up? What have you taught your children about money and finance? 

My parents taught me nothing about money. Money was a very stressful thing and I saw my mom cry over it quite a few times. I think the one thing that I have that I wish I could let go of is undervaluing myself. I feel like they never thought we were as good as others. 

My children are amazing! (Don’t we all think that of our kids?!!) My son is doing phenomenally well as a fashion designer in London and really on his way to big success. My daughter is the coolest woman I know, not into things but wants to save the world. I know they will both do well in being happy.

What’s the biggest money mistake you’ve made? 

I spent 5 years building my company Illume Candles from a $10k investment to a company doing almost 12 million a year, with no debt and healthy profit. I sold it in 1999 and at the time the company who bought it was going to go public and if I took stock over cash I was set to make about 20 million. So I took one million in cash and the rest in stock.

That company went bankrupt a year and a half later so basically I sold my company for a million dollars which although a nice chunk of money, was nothing compared to its worth. My accountant and attorney had advised against me doing that but I thought I knew what I was doing. My only regret in life.

I think you're the first woman I've spoken to who has been a millionaire. How was it to actually hit that milestone? Did you celebrate? Did you buy anything particularly exciting? (I'm living vicariously here.) 

It's funny but it wasn't that big of a deal. I come from a very middle class family, my dad was a police officer and my mom a school secretary. They struggled a lot and we had very little money. 

My first marriage was to a very wealthy family on the East Coast and I really saw a different world in that decade of living in NYC and having friends with so much (and I had access to so much through my marriage). When I sold Illume and made the million I was used to having a lot.  My company had been doing very well and my husband at the time had also started doing very well in the movie business. We had everything we needed and so the money wasn't a lot at that time. My company was so profitable that if I had wanted to take a million out I could have. I look back now and think what a million would do for my life now, hahahaha a completely different story!!

In contrast, I know you’ve been through bankruptcy. Could you tell me a bit about how that happened, how you got past it? What, if anything, the experience taught you? 

I went through bankruptcy a little over 10 years ago. After going through divorce and losing everything I had built I was married again (third time). We had started a little company making these really cute dish towels. It was going quite well and while nowhere near what Illume had done, it was enough for our family of four. And then it wasn't, as several other players entered the marketplace, underpriced us, and took away most of our business. 

I should have closed the company when it started to get rough but we had a few friends who had invested money and I didn't want to let them down. We had to move out of our rental house as we couldn't afford the rent and we moved into the little warehouse we were making the towels in - with our two kids. It was an extremely difficult time. We lived there like that for almost a year. 

Friends had said to file bankruptcy and so did my husband at the time but I kept thinking I could get us out of it. But the credit card debt just got higher and higher and the stress became unbearable. After a complete meltdown for a $65 parking ticket I knew I had to file. It was a massive relief. My very good credit score went in the trash but the pressure was off.

We moved back to California (we were in Seattle at the time) and I'll never forget walking into our new apartment - a small two bedroom apartment - and I cried with joy to be in a home again with a kitchen, bedrooms, real bathrooms. After being someone who had at one time owned four homes, it was crazy how much I just appreciated having the small apartment.

What’s the best thing you’ve ever spent money on? 

So funny, I can't think of anything. I don't care that much about things, I love vacations but mostly I just want enough money to not have to stress.

Do you have a pension? If not, do you have a plan? 

I have no savings, no pension, no nothing. I don't own a home or a car. At one point I owned four homes at once. Now, my life is simple and happy. I turn 60 this year and still work full time for companies in America and Canada. I work from home (here in Italy) or my beautiful studio in the center of our picturesque town at the base of the Dolomites. 

I started painting two years ago and my "plan" is to make my art career my money source for the rest of my life. I hope to transition from working to art full time by the end of 2023. I only need about $150k year from art if I continue to live in Italy to have all I need. I am the money-maker in my relationship so all of the money pressure is on me. I would like that to be different and maybe at some point it will be, but I am hoping art is my future stability.

I'm so interested that you actually have a figure for how much you need to earn. I recently listened to a podcast about making money as a creative, and the conclusion was that rather than trying to do more and more, you should calculate how much money you need to live and then work out what you need to do to get it. It seems that's exactly what you've done? Can you talk a bit more about that? 

Interesting that the podcast came to that conclusion, that is how I have always done everything that has to do with money - work backwards. Even when I was pricing my candles when I had Illume, first question was, what would someone pay for this? Then work back to what the wholesale price would be, then back to the cost of goods. I don't know why I do it this way, it just makes sense to me. 

I am doing well at work now, I make a good living but it isn't work I want to do forever - I want to paint. I don't need to replace all of the income, but most of it, so then it just becomes a matter of how to do that. I think I have come up with a few ways to make this all happen and I really do think by the end of 2023 I will be there. 

Friends have always said to me "Everything you touch turns to gold" but I just for the life of me can't understand that. I think because they don't see all of the crap that I touched first to find the one thing that worked. I have so many failures but you can't have successes without a lot of failures, it's all part of the process.

You say you're the money maker in your relationship and so the pressure is on you, and this also seems to be quite rare, even in 2022. Do you feel it as a pressure? How does your partner feel about it? 

When we met he was doing much better than I. Then at a point we jointly decided he needed to leave his job as his ex was his boss and as you can imagine not a great situation. We started a company together, Fluid Fragrances, and we thought he would run it while I continued to work as a consultant in the candle industry. Cut to the pandemic and lots of other issues that arose, we decided at the end of 2021 to close it down.  

During this whole time, my consulting business grew a lot and thank goodness for that. So now he is starting another new business and it will take some time to get going but I am hoping he will do very well with it. So it doesn't bother either of us, everything is a moment in time, nothing is forever. Right now, I am the one making the money and paying the bills, but I couldn't do it all without him. He is very involved in my art and handles all of the sales, shipping, promotion, etc.  Sometimes I feel it gets sensitive, as there is some messed up idea that the man is supposed to earn more or take care of the bills or whatever, but that is such an antiquated way to think.

What is your relationship with money currently? 

I love money. Money makes life easier, I don't care what anyone else says. I've had it, and I've not had it, and I would take having it any day over not having it. Not having money is extremely stressful, having money means you can take care of your needs and the others in your life's needs. It gives peace of mind.

I love that you said you love money. I think you're the first woman I've interviewed to say that and it's so important! 

One thing I have most certainly learned in life is that our thoughts and words are extremely powerful. If you "don't like" or "hate" money, you probably won't attract any to you. If it's a positive thing and you love it and think of it in a good way, chances are more will come your way.

Learn more about Lynette on her website.

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