How generous are you?
+ the return of the NatWest piggy bank
Hello! I’m back on a Monday like old times. I’ve pretty much finished the book that’s been kicking my arse (well, it’s not finished, but it’s as finished as it’s going to be for now) so I’m sending it on its merry way later today and then I get my life back, for a while.
I’ve been thinking about money gifts. In my family, everyone got a fiver in their birthday card. I remember thinking it was a bit redundant since, for the adults at least, it was a fiver in and a fiver out, but it was still cool to open the card and be five pounds better off.
And then, when I turned 18, one relative announced that they’d decided they were only giving the children fivers up to 18. Which made me furious because they were still going to be gifting the rest of the family - the ones who were already over 18 - it was just the kids who were getting cut off. The injustice!
A couple of years ago, in his card to my eldest for his 16th birthday, my former father-in-law wrote - he wrote in the card - that now Harry was 16, he wouldn’t be giving him presents anymore. “Spend this wisely, because it’s the last you’re getting.” I think he might have worded it slightly better than that (or maybe not) but whatever it was, it made me and Harry cry with laughter. It was so dramatic and mean.
We didn’t realise at the time, but Christmas presents were out too. Yesterday, my boys came home with a Christmas card each from their Grandad. The 16yo’s had £60 inside, the 19yo’s cock-all. It blows my tiny mind. He’s definitely not short of money, so why, when you could be generous, would you choose to be so ungenerous?
A Christmas card arrived for me this morning - not from my ex-FIL, I am unsurprisingly off that list - from the Royal Literary Fund, with a note inside to say they are sending me a Christmas gift, which will be in my bank account by Friday.
It made me cry. The grant I got from the RLF changed my life this year and I’m so grateful. And for them to then send me something more, on top, out of the blue, is so kind. And it made me think what a lovely job that must be, to know that you’re helping people and making them happy.
That seems, to me, like the best reason to have money. Although you could argue that the hysterical laughter the 16yo’s birthday card provided was priceless.
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An interview with Ray Dodd
I’ve been recommending Ray Dodd’s work in my paid posts, so I was excited when she agreed to answer my questions.
Often described as ‘Not you average Money Mindset Coach, Ray Dodd’s coaching is all about giving you the tools to break free from social expectations that are holding you back from reaching your full money-making potential.
Ray’s very favourite place to be is infusing nuance and diversity into the conversation around money. As someone who understands the interconnectivity of culture and business, Ray helps her clients shift their beliefs and liberate themselves from conformity conditioning, paving the way towards making plenty of money without compromising who they are and what they believe matters.
What is your relationship with money currently?
Cultivating and nurturing my own relationship with money is a huge part of my job, no point helping people out with theirs if I'm not addressing my own! But that doesn’t mean things are always plain sailing. Right now my relationship with money is in a very good place. It's a very neutral place, which is my favourite place for money to be. Where money is not good or bad, it's simply there as a resource and a support as well as a good way to inject joy too!
What’s your earliest money memory?
Probably getting the NatWest baby piggy bank. I was desperate for the whole collection, but I think you only got those when you hit certain savings milestones. It says something about my savings habits as a kid that I never got more than the first one!
What advice would you give your younger self about money?
"Money does not have to be as stressful as your family are making it look!"
What’s the biggest money mistake you’ve made?
Oh so many! But probably investing in things because I thought they would be the thing to change my business/get me to the next income goal/alleviate imposter syndrome (insert many other reasons here). Having said that, I refuse to have any regrets, guilt or shame about each of these choices. Because I learnt a whole ton from each of them.
What’s the best thing you’ve ever spent money on?
My accountant! Financial admin is not my forte and she is a (patient) wonder of a human!
Do you have a pension? If not, do you have a plan?
Not currently, but getting one is built into 2024's business plans.
What would you do with £10,000?
Add it into my house deposit pot!
If you were me, what would you want to ask women about money?
I would want to ask, where are you making do with how much money you make and where are you not acknowledging that you actually want more?
Read the second part of my interview with Ray here:
"I don't actually believe that we can 'charge our worth'."
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In the meantime, did you miss these posts (that also reference the NatWest piggy banks)?
Feeling a little guilty here for being the one who suggested we limit Christmas presents in the family, but this is adult nieces and nephews and middle aged siblings, some of whom are now grandparents. I hope their grandchildren benefited! Easter eggs seemed to continue until you had your own children in my family; I have a 51 year old cousin who still receives one! People, eh!
My friend who just had a baby three months ago told me last week that 8 family members gave her a joint gift of £20 for her new baby - why give anything? They're not tight for cash I know that. I like to be very generous with my money - I truly believe the more you give the more the universe will return to you. Although I would never give more than our family could afford just in the hope that the universe would reward me in some way. When I have a bit of money 'leftover' after I get paid - calculated as money not assigned to any upcoming bills or my monthly estimated expenditures or designated savings etc. - I spread it between a few charities I try to regularly donate to. Also, I just wouldn't want to be known as a stingy person - I want to be known as a generous, kind soul.