How To Solve Internal Money Fights with IFS
A guest post by Satya Robyn
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I was lucky enough to get to know Satya Robyn quite early in my Substack journey and instantly found her to be one of the wisest and kindest people on here.
Via her Substack, Going Gently, I was introduced to the concept of Internal Family Systems, which then seemed to pop up in numerous other places - including Glennon Doyle’s podcast and the Trauma of Money™ course I’m currently taking - demanding I pay attention.
I’m learning! And obviously what I want to learn about most is my relationship with money. So I asked Satya if she would write something for me and was delighted when she agreed. Over to Satya…
How To Solve Internal Money Fights with IFS
I’d like to start by telling you about an argument that happens inside of me.
The argument usually starts when I feel a sudden urge to buy something. This urge is sometimes triggered by something in the outside world - an email advert from my favourite vegan chocolate maker, or putting on my deliciously-comfy bed socks and remembering that I really wanted another pair in a different colour. Sometimes the urge arises from a vague sense of dis-ease or a more intense feeling of sadness or grumpiness - maybe if I went shopping or at least ordered a new book then I might feel better.
Let’s call this part of me ‘Mr. Splurge’.
When Mr. Splurge arises, he is met very quickly by another part of me. This part spent hours last week on new spreadsheets to plan my monthly spending. This part knows that I don’t need another pair of bed socks, and that I only ordered a load of nice chocolate nine days ago. This part wants me to save for sensible things - maybe I could pay my mortgage off more quickly, or up my pension, or at least spend my money on study. This part of me is not a fan of Mr. Splurge.
Let’s call her ‘Ms. Budget’.
These parts get into endless discussions about how I should be managing my finances.