The most important message I was given about money, was that it was a means to an end and not an end in itself.

Decades series: eighties

Nov 11, 2024

Hi and welcome to The Ladybird Purse, my weekly newsletter about women and money.

This is the eighth post in my series looking at money experiences and attitudes through life, decade by decade. You can find links to the previous posts at the end.

Eighties

Ann Richardson, 82

Ann Richardson lives in London with her husband of 61 years. They have two middle-aged children and two teenage grandsons. Ann worked as a social researcher and writer, initially for various academic institutions and then freelance for many years. She has written numerous books, including four (on completely different topics) still in circulation. The most recent is about why she likes being old, called The Granny Who Stands on her Head. She also writes a Substack with the same title, where she writes fortnightly on any topic that captures her imagination.

How were financial decisions made within your family when you were growing up?

I was born into a professional middle-class family in Washington, D.C. in 1942. My parents, born 1909/1910, would have been instilled with Victorian values from the outset. You might expect that my father would have been dominant in any financial discussions and arrangements and my mother to have been subservient. But they were both university-educated intellectuals with an assumption of equality in the marriage seen more often today than in the 1930s.

I was never party to their discussions, but I believe they made any major money decisions together. They did not believe in discussing their money with their children, so I had no idea what they earned or what other money they had, but I know they had a joint bank account throughout their lives.

More interestingly, they were a dual career household from the outset. They had three children and when we were young, my mother worked part-time, but she was very involved with her work (the daughter in me might say ‘too involved’ in her work). She worked outside the home throughout the ‘30s, ‘40s, ‘50s and beyond, using her maiden name, as women do today.

And as every child tends to think that whatever happens in their household is ‘normal’, I too thought it was completely normal for both mother and father to have what might be viewed as high-powered jobs. Certainly, no one who met her would have called my mother subservient.

(As a historical note of interest, their first jobs were both working as civil servants for the US Government in the New Deal (President Roosevelt). It was then the official view that the wives in dual career couples didn’t ‘need’ to earn much and I believe my mother was paid half the salary she would have received as a man! On the other hand, finding ‘help’ in the household was easy and inexpensive and they had a live-in a ‘nurse’ (nanny), a cook and a cleaner, even though they were not wealthy at all.)

What did your parents teach you about money? Intentionally or otherwise.

The most important message I was given about money, mostly implicitly, was that money was only a means to an end and not an end in itself. If you don’t want much in the way of goods or services, you don’t need much money.

Put another way, and I think my mother said this at some point: “A person is rich if their income outstrips what they want to buy.” I imbibed this attitude and it remains my underlying view about money.

I was given a small amount of pocket money from the age of six – 10¢, rising a little bit (5¢?) each year. I think this was to teach the idea of budgeting and it worked well. We all knew that our money was our money, but we were not to ask for anything further. At the age of 16 or so, I was given what was called a ‘clothes allowance’, which was sizeably larger, but I became responsible for buying my own clothes as well as other consumer items.

Did you experience any financial challenges when you started your career?

Yes and no.

My husband (English) and I (then American) married age 21 and 22 (probably not very sensibly, but we’re still very happily married 61 years later, so perhaps it was wise after all). We were both graduate students for a year, then he was a PhD student for four years while I worked to support us.

Things always felt tight during that period. We then moved to England (London) where he worked as a university lecturer (appointed at the bottom of a very low salary scale) and I had a baby and then worked part-time as a research assistant (never well paid).

So, effectively, for the first decade or so of our marriage, we always felt we had to be careful with money. But we didn’t feel ‘poor’ because everyone we knew (other junior academics) were in the same situation. Nor were we very bothered to have the latest things. We were able to go to the movies, buy books, have the occasional meal out and pay for inexpensive holidays.

But most importantly, because housing was cheap, we were able to buy a small house (with a contribution from my parents) during this time. This made such a difference to our feeling of stability. It is hard to believe now how very lucky people of our generation were in this respect. And it allowed us to ‘trade up’ to a larger house some years later.

The year our daughter started primary school (with childcare costs heavily reduced), I also began to earn a full-time salary and this was the first time that we felt there was some financial breathing space. Even then, however, money was tight as neither of us earned high salaries. And my earnings were always precarious, as I did not have a permanent job. Eventually, I had a second child, with the concomitant expenses of childcare.

I might add that my comment at the outset that it seemed very ‘normal’ that my mother worked outside the home became very pertinent here, as I had no internal guilt about being a mother and going out to work. This was not commonly the case for other mothers of my age, who often suffered huge internalised conflict about being ‘always available for the children’ and ‘pursuing one’s own career’. Juggling was not easy for anyone, but not suffering from a sense of guilt was a big help.

How has your perspective on money changed over time?

My view about the importance of money has not changed at all. I have never sought a high income for its own sake and my decisions about what work to do have never been influenced by the income thereby gained. As our joint income grew, our attitudes did not change much. Neither of us were ever interested in any of the accoutrements of wealth and, for practical reasons, we never even owned a car. As a result, and by default, we began to save.

On the other hand, it is certainly nice to have money and a bit of luxury never hurt anyone. I can well remember many of the occasions on which we splurged and bought something special. Perhaps the most outrageous was just after I received £5000 from the bequest of a neighbour who died. She was elderly and blind and I had been helping her with her post, benefits and other matters.

My husband, on being invited to give a talk in Japan, was given an air ticket in business class. We decided I should go with him and I paid roughly £2500 to join him in business class. I felt that my neighbour would have loved to have contributed to this luxury for me. Indeed, I said I was due two business class trips to Japan (and, thinking even more cleverly, I should have three, because one needs to deduct the cost of the second-class ticket I would otherwise have bought). I remember it with pleasure, but we never returned to Japan or anywhere else distant.

Now, in our eighties, we feel that money is for enjoying, but in fact spend less and less on ourselves, in part because my husband’s health problems tend to keep us at home. And, funnily enough, we don’t miss the things we used to spend it on. There are so many more important things in life, like having a good laugh.

Are there any financial goals or milestones you would still like to achieve?

Not at all. Through our pensions and savings, we have more than enough money for our immediate needs. The fact that we have saved provides reassurance that if one or both of us ever needed nursing care, we would have some resources for that contingency.

We are much more concerned for the needs of our children (and, especially, our grandchildren) to ensure that they will be financially secure. In particular, we are concerned that they will be able to have as much higher education as they want (one grandchild looks to be destined for a PhD and academia, although that is never certain). We would also like to help them with their inevitably difficult housing costs.

What are the biggest lessons you've learned about managing money?

To me, the most important lesson about managing money is the equation mentioned at the outset. One should try to keep one’s financial needs lower than one’s income. In short, what one really wants is for money not to be an issue. We have managed it well through thin times and thicker ones and it has never been an issue. Result – happy people.

It is also essential to save for the proverbial rainy day. It makes me weep to hear of middle-class couples who are deeply in credit card debt, taken on to purchase expensive holidays. This seems such a waste (given the high interest paid on such debt) and the source of unnecessary worry for everyone.

I consider myself a lucky woman to have never had severe financial insecurity and to know that I could live on a low income, if necessary. I have tried to instil similar attitudes in my children and think I have been largely successful.

Have you encountered any gender-specific financial challenges or biases?

As a working woman, I have not knowingly experienced any gender discrimination. All the jobs I applied for had a set salary range (mostly within British universities or the equivalent), so I always had equal pay. It is possible that I was appointed at a lower point in any given salary scale (one source of hidden discrimination), but if this happened, I was not aware of it. Indeed, when I once applied for a job paying less than my then earnings, I was surprised to be moved to a new salary scale in order not to require me to earn less.

Moreover, I was never aware of men being promoted ahead of me at any point. This is not to say that I think it doesn’t happen, but I don’t think it has happened to me.

In my 40s, I chose to start working freelance, which I did for the rest of my career. This required me to judge the appropriate fees for someone of my level and, charge accordingly. As I considered myself to be highly capable at my work, my charges were not low, but no one ever suggested they were inappropriate.

How did you approach saving for retirement or planning for the future?

Saving was built into my psyche as something anyone sensible did (and, fortunately, my husband was similar), so it was never difficult. We always sought to save on the grounds that we would need the money later. The only time we drew heavily on our savings was when we bought a house in the mid-1970s, which we have lived in since. That house, of course, has proved to be the best investment of our lives.

What advice would you give to younger generations of women when it comes to finances?

Save, save, save. Any time you can. So much expenditure is wasted on trifles of no lasting interest. This doesn’t mean that you should never enjoy yourself, but stop and consider how important any spending decision is to you.

Most of all, make sure you will have a pension, whether it comes from your employment or purchased outside. When you are young, pensions seem so uninteresting (and you somehow imagine that you will never grow old) that you ‘tune out’ of discussions. Don’t.

A friend once defined middle age as the point when those funny little numbers on your salary slip stop feeling like something the world is taking away from you and start feeling like something you are going to get. Yes, pensions discussions are boring, but my goodness, you will appreciate it when you have enough money at the end of your life.

I think women of my generation would have needed advice to be as financially independent as possible and not to rely on their husbands for their present or future income, if only because so many marriages do not last. I may be wrong, but I think that message has now been widely accepted. It will remain an issue for women as long as they retain principal responsibility for both childcare and the care of older or disabled family members, so I don’t think it will ever be easy, but the mindset should be there.