"When I had a hiking accident and thought my time was up, I remember thinking: At least I didn’t bother saving for my retirement."

+ attempting a no spend month and trying to reverse time

Hi and welcome to The Ladybird Purse, my weekly newsletter about women and money. I’m not a financial advisor and not qualified to give financial advice.

Ok, first up, get it out of the way: I’ve stopped fretting and I’ve added the paid subs. Free subscribers will still get this Monday email (me + interview). The archive is now paywalled (after one month) and paid subscribers will also get extra content including AMAs, interviews with financial experts and the opportunity to ask questions - to the experts or for the weekly interviews.

Are you watching this show? I love it so.

I’m currently reading Unf*ck Your Finances and the author suggested a no spend month. Because April was approaching and because I have noticed I have gone way past the point of agonising over every penny I spend and often spend quite unthinkingly (thanks, Amazon), I thought I should probably give it a go.

Even just a couple of days in, I’ve noticed how often I’m tempted to buy something - a candle, a notebook, some random but intriguing shit advertised on Instagram. I’ve read a couple of times in the last few days that the average person encounters between 6,000 to 10,000 ads every single day. I can’t even get my head around this. But it does make me feel better about only having bought, like ten things off Instagram, rather than A MILLION.

Full disclosure, once I made the decision to do this, I pre-bought a bunch of April stuff. Or rather, pre-booked. Cinema with the 18yo. Tickets to see Sara Pascoe. 31st March was a heavy spending day. But now I am (mostly) committed. And I thought I’d post my weekly spends here, to keep me honest (and also because I am nosy about what people spend and maybe you are too).

So far this month:

• £88.45 council tax - I won’t be including all my bills because most of them are on DD, but I cancelled the council tax DD years ago when they just kept taking money randomly so I actually have to go to the website and pay this one. (Sidebar: are all council websites enragingly crap?)

• 60p Etsy fees. Do you know I paint? Do you know you can buy my paintings? Do you know how much I’d love you if you did?

• £65.78 Tesco - I usually get my groceries delivered once a week, but end up doing many top-up shops at the Tesco five mins away. (Mostly due to the two teens who think w serving of biscuits is an entire pack of biscuits.) This week, I decided to skip the big shop, use up some of what we have at home (mostly rice and frozen veg) and just go to Tesco. Saved £5 on this shop with my clubcard.

• £5 Cinema - Some might not consider this an essential purchase. But I do. Because it’s the FORTY-FIFTH ANNIVERSARY OF SUPERMAN.

Me, trying to unfuck my finances

---

Paid subscriptions enable me to keep producing these newsletters.

If you’re not a paid subscriber already, I’d love it if you’d consider upgrading. Paid subscribers receive a second weekly post along with access to the full archive.

If you would like a paid sub, but can’t swing it right now, email me and I’ll sort it.

---

Recommendations…

For the writers among us, I found this podcast about writing as a career really interesting. I’ve known Emily online since before either of us was published and I’ve been enjoying her substack:

I feel like I’ve always been painfully aware of emotional spending, but this is an interesting post even so:

Is it normal to emotionally spend?

An interview with Claire Nelson

Claire Nelson is a freelance travel writer, copy editor, and author of Things I Learned From Falling. Based between the UK and New Zealand, she is currently living a life of house-sitting, hanging out with other people’s dogs while working on travel commissions, and her second book. You can find her on Instagram.

Why do you think women are often reluctant to talk about money?

I’ve never thought the reluctance to talk about it was specific to women; there’s always been a general rule of etiquette that you don’t talk about your earnings and that salaries are a grave secret. But of course, that rule has historically worked hardest against women, and kept the gender pay gap under wraps for a very long time.

I am delighted that these conversations are being had out in the open more, but we still have a way to go. (For instance, I want to see job ads state what they are paying! If the salary is so “competitive”, why can’t you reveal what it is? Who is benefiting from this secrecy?) Sure, one’s earnings are one’s own business, but I think it’s worth questioning why we want to keep it private.

That’s something I’ve asked myself: will creating a sense that I earn more than I do increase my professional worth – or does that simply create a false sense of what it is to earn a living as a writer, and not allow for conversation around improving the status quo?

For a long time I had no idea what other writers earned, what an author might expect to receive from being published, and even now it’s not easy information to gather… How can we grow without being informed? I think sex, health and money should be topics in a more open forum, as by removing shame or squeamishness about these things will do us all far more good than harm. 

What is your relationship with money currently?

To quote the old Facebook status: ‘It’s complicated’.

I’d always wanted to be a writer, and I’ve worked for the last two decades to build a career where writing is my main source of income and I work wholly for myself. I’m really proud of that. Yet I always knew writing wouldn’t be a high-earning career.

Since going fully freelance I rather live by the seat of my pants: earnings come in fits and starts and I can cover my living costs but only just. (It doesn't help that 99 per cent of the invoices I have ever submitted have been paid late – it's a massive problem in the world of freelance publishing and I now charge late fees as a rule.)

Whatever my income, I've been keeping track of my budget on a spreadsheet since I was 20: it lets me see my earnings and outgoings a good 12 months ahead – the idea of living without that is unfathomable!

The goal now is to get some savings together. For so long most of my earnings have gone on rent (especially in London), and my greatest desire is to own my own home (almost certainly not in London). As I can work practically anywhere, since 2022 I have been house- and pet-sitting in different countries, or staying with my parents in New Zealand to try and put something away, and slowly this is starting to happen. Even if in a few years’ time I can only afford a tiny house on the edge of a field somewhere, I will be able to breathe easier knowing my money is going towards something that’s actually mine.

What’s your earliest money memory?

I remember being a kid and wanting a Sega Master System, which I would have to save for it with my pocket money, but I was so eager for it that in the end my dad (bless him) offered to buy it for me and I’d pay him back over time. His intentions were sweet and I appreciated that, but in hindsight I wish I’d honed an instinct for saving. Instant gratification is hard to resist as a child.

School wasn't any help – I hope basic personal finance is being taught in schools now, because all I remember from economics classes are memories of retail franchises and profits.

What’s the biggest money mistake you’ve made?

Not saving. Or not understanding the importance of it. Though I’ve worked a job since I was fourteen I never learned how to build a nest egg. I’ve never had one. Those who have always saved might assume it’s a natural instinct, but I think it’s something you have instilled in you, and honed through the practice of it.

I’m the first to admit I’ve lived my life in a pretty carpe diem manner. While I did save up to move to London when I was 21, I made the leap as soon as I’d gathered the bare minimum, then threw everything I earned over there into experiencing life in the UK, and travelling…

I got into a fair bit of debt in my 20s. Now I’m 40, and though debt free, am only now starting to put money away so I can conceive of ever owning my own home. That’s what I want more than anything. I’m well aware I’ve made choices that have given me a life and career in travel, rather than the stability of property, and I have never earned enough to have both at the same time. I picked my path, and now I am working out how to diverge somewhat. 

What’s the best thing you’ve ever spent money on? 

Travel. Always. It’s what I live for, it’s what I build my work on, and I have never regretted it.

Do you have a pension? If not, do you have a plan? 

I have a little bit in a pension pot but am not actively paying into it at the moment. I appreciate I sound very grasshopper-who-sang-all-summer, but the way I live means my earnings are feast-or-famine, not a 9–5 salary, and at this point I can only focus on saving for the here and now, and covering my taxes. Trying to cater for my later years is a step beyond my means at this stage.

That said, as a writer I don’t plan to “retire” – it’s not a life structure I ever envisioned for myself. I have continued to build a career as a working writer / editor, and hope I can continue doing that until the end. When I had a hiking accident and thought my time was up, I remember having the thought: “Welp, at least I didn’t bother saving for my retirement,” haha. I am well aware I’m not a role model for how to approach personal finance. 

What would you do with £10,000?

Put it straight into the savings account towards a deposit for my future home. Wouldn't that be lovely.

If you were me, what would you want to ask women about money?

I was trying to form a specific question but can't quite find it: something to the effect of "How financially diverse is your social circle, and has this changed over time?" Ultimately, I'm curious how people navigate those gaps, and whether they were always there or have developed over the years as people's circumstances and goals change. 

If you’d prefer not to subscribe, but would still like to support me/this newsletter, you can make a one-off payment: