Don’t just think about your own finances, look at the generations you’re sandwiched between.
Decades series: sixties
Hi and welcome to The Ladybird Purse, my weekly newsletter about women and money.
This is the sixth post in my series looking at money experiences and attitudes through life, decade by decade. You can find links to all of the previous posts at the end.
SIXTIES
Wendy Varley, 63
Wendy was features editor of UK magazine, Just Seventeen, during the publishing boom years of the mid-1980s, then wrote about about parenting and education, before moving into web-editing. Her Substack, Wendy’s World, covers memoir, family life and the arts.
How were financial decisions made within your family when you were growing up?
My parents always fretted about money. It got particularly heated whenever there was a miners’ strike and dad’s wages were stopped.
Dad was on a steady but low income as a maintenance engineer at the local colliery. Mum had life-long heart problems that meant she couldn’t work. She was obsessed with rummaging for bargains in charity shops or jumble sales, always returning with more than she’d donated. She’d scour the £5 and under column in the local paper. But she was also a hoarder, so she didn’t know when to stop.
Mum had control of the household spending and wrote everything down in a ledger. She knew how much was in their accounts to the penny. When I was clearing the house after my parents died, I found her notebooks. She’d keep separate tabs on any money relatives sent for our birthdays and write in things like, “Wendy’s plastic hammer, 2s 6d”. (It was pre-decimal currency in the 1960s.) Strikes me as quite expensive for a toy hammer! I can remember playing with it.
My parents were careful not to get into debt, but they disagreed on what money should be spent on.
One thing I’m grateful for is the two years of dance lessons. They couldn’t really afford it, but mum prioritised it. I loved dancing.
What did your parents teach you about money? Intentionally or otherwise.
I realised early that money (or lack of it) can cause conflict in relationships. I learned not to take it for granted. There was no financial cushion. When I left home, I knew I was on my own. I had to be self-reliant.
But I also knew I didn’t want money to be a constant source of stress as it had been for my parents.
Mum once won some money in a Reader’s Digest competition, so I realised that sometimes luck plays a part. But she could also be gullible. She and dad were once mis-sold a time-share apartment. There was no way they could have afforded it or got any use out of it. I had to help them cancel the arrangement.
I’ve learned to be cautious. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
They were very “make do and mend”, so if I can fix things myself, I will.
Did you experience any financial challenges when you started your career?
I started an English and Drama degree, but ditched it after two terms to find work instead. It was grants, not loans, back then, thank goodness, and I didn’t have to pay anything back. I feel for students now, coming out of university with massive debt to pay off, if they ever find a well-enough paid job.
I was on the dole and claiming rent allowance for just two weeks while I found a job. Rent allowance rules changed for young people under Margaret Thatcher’s government in the 1980s, so if I’d been in the same situation just a few years later, I’d have been stuck. I’m so grateful I had that buffer, so I could stay in London while briefly unemployed.
My first role in 1981 was as an editorial assistant at a book publishing company where I earned £5000 a year. Then I switched into journalism. When I was 24, I was able to put down a 10% deposit from my savings and take out a mortgage for a two-bed flat in SE London on a modest single income. That seems crazy when you look at how unaffordable London property is now. The decision to buy my own place then was a good one.
I met Ian in February 1986, got pregnant accidentally and we had triplets by the end of the year. Talk about baptism of fire! That was a financial challenge, juggling work with an instant family. The shoe bill was enormous!
Ian and I pooled our resources and decided to work for ourselves, setting up a small editorial business, which then morphed into a web development business as the internet took off. It gave us the work/family balance we needed. I could work part-time and organise my own hours.
How has your perspective on money changed over time?
As a child, I would pore over catalogues, dreaming of all the things I’d buy if only I had the money. But as I’ve got older, I’ve got less and less materialistic.
I don’t like shopping. I care where my food comes from and will spend money on that, but I don’t covet material things like I used to. I’ve always prioritised spending on the family.
My leisure spending goes on Pilates and choir subs, both activities that are good for body and soul. And Substack!
Are there any financial goals or milestones you would still like to achieve?
Perhaps more travel once we move towards retirement. Ian and I had a city break in Spain and Portugal in February and realised it was decades since we’d last been on holiday, just the two of us. Any breaks had been with the kids when they were younger, or for weddings or funerals. Self-employment makes you think twice about taking holidays.
I’m thrilled to be writing on Substack. I started out as a journalist, but by the 2000s I’d veered into web-editing and admin, pretty dry stuff. I also took on unpaid voluntary roles, such as chairing an arts charity. My creative brain ossified, though. Re-finding my writing mojo and getting wonderful feedback from readers on Substack is a joy.
US writer Nan Tepper asked me recently why I hadn’t turned on the paid option on Wendy’s World. I didn’t have a good answer. I put it down to “little old me?” syndrome. So I took the plunge and turned it on. Those first paid subscriptions have meant so much, because it’s direct appreciation for my personal writing. I make everything available to everyone – I know times are hard and I know I couldn’t possibly pay for all the Substacks I enjoy reading – but it gives readers the choice of supporting my writing if they want to and are able to.
What are the biggest lessons you've learned about managing money?
Get a filing cabinet! I know we live online, but I still like to have a hard copy of anything important.
I have an accountant who can deal with business and personal tax returns. It saves me hassle and there are no nasty surprises.
Deal with money stuff promptly. Putting it off makes things worse. The first thing I do every weekday is check my accounts.
In freelance life, or a small business that has very similar vibes, always set aside a quarter of all income into a separate account. It’s painful, but not as painful as a looming and huge tax bill.
Over the years I’ve had voluntary roles overseeing organisational finance in a bigger way: being a school governor; being a charity trustee. That’s taught me a lot about how to read spreadsheets and accounts and the importance of budgeting. All of which helps with managing personal finance too. If you have the time and opportunity to volunteer in that kind of role for a while, I recommend it.
Have you encountered any gender-specific financial challenges or biases?
When I first applied for a mortgage as a single woman in 1985, I got a weird “Just you?” reaction from the chap at the building society.
I think women are still not as confident as men about asking for pay rises and such. When I worked at Just Seventeen magazine in the mid 1980s, I was nominated to be the union rep. Maybe my colleagues thought that being from the North of England gave me a militant edge or something! I had to argue the terms for paid maternity leave with a bunch of men at the publisher’s head office. We ended up with a really good maternity policy compared to other publishing companies at the time. If you don’t ask, you don’t get!
How have you approached saving for retirement or planning for the future?
I saved regularly into a private pension from early on. I stopped paying in once I turned 60, but I’m leaving it a few more years before taking anything out. I’ll see how it goes. The state pension in the UK doesn’t kick in until 67 for women, so I’m glad I’ve got some flexibility.
I’ve made a will and have sorted out Lasting Power of Attorney, so if anything happens to me, Ian and our four children have peace of mind.
What advice would you give to younger generations of women when it comes to finances?
Pay off credit cards straight away, so they’re not accumulating interest. (Or just don’t have a credit card.) Try to get a savings habit, even if it’s just a little. A little now is worth a lot later.
When I was a child, the life insurance man called to collect a few pence a month from my parents, which got recorded in a little book. I’d assumed those paid-up policies were worthless, but luckily, as my mum kept everything, I found them after she and dad died and they were worth thousands.
One was for a funeral policy that my grandmother had taken out for 1.5d per month when my dad was toddler. That tells you something about child mortality at the time. It would pay out £6 if he died before age three, £10 between ages three and six; and £15 after the age of six. He died aged 93 and with inflation it paid out £1200. (The total paid in was about £12.)
So, look up and look down. By that, I mean, don’t just think about your finances as they are at the moment, look at the generations you’re sandwiched between.
If your parents are alive, have they made their wills? Have they sorted out Lasting Power of Attorney for their financial affairs as well as for health? Do you know where to find documents if anything happens to them?
I learned my lesson the hard way. My single aunt was fit and active into her eighties. She’d say, breezily, “When I pop off, you know where to find my will.”
But she didn’t “pop off”. She had a devastating stroke that left her unable to move or speak. It fell to me, her niece, to take responsibility for her; not something I’d ever expected to have to do.
She’d suggested to me back in 2011 that we discuss Power of Attorney and I’d ignored it. Without that, I had to apply to be her Legal Guardian, which took ten months, during which time her finances were locked down. She needed full-time care in a nursing home and lived for another two years after her stroke.
The admin alone took up so many hours of my life. If I’d had Power of Attorney, it would have been a lot simpler.
After that, I asked my parents to sort out Power of Attorney and was glad I did, as I needed it before they died, for health, as well as for finance.
Look down as well as up. Think about any children you have. What would happen to them if anything happened to you? And if you don’t have children, who would you entrust with your affairs if you reached a point where you couldn’t do things for yourself?
Sort these things out when you DON’T need them, then file them away. They might never be used, but they give you and your relatives peace of mind.
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Thank you for inviting my to take part in this series, Keris. It was really interesting thinking through what money means at this stage in my life. Hope it's helpful to others.
Really enjoyed hearing from women in other "decades" in this series.
Interesting interview. This was my first time reading your stack. I teach adult budgeting at my church and it’s amazing how much disparity in knowledge and approach there is in the same community.