"I have a deep-rooted fear of being poor again or making a mistake with money."
+ doing it now, in this life, as me
Yet again I caught myself fretting about earning money and then spending it and reminded myself that THAT’S WHAT IT’S FOR. But then I started reading through all the screenshots on my phone (my annual year end clear out) and found something sent to me by friend of the show subscriber, Helen.
It’s an article from Asda magazine by Cheryl Freedman called Get to Know Your Money Dials and it’s about how you should identify what you love to spend your money on. “Money dials can help you determine the things that matter most to you in life and ensure your spending behaviour is in line with your true values.”
This isn’t a new concept to me - or, I’m sure, to you - but god knows I need to have things constantly reiterated and something in this framing pinged something in my brain.
“A money dial is a spending habit that makes you feel happier, excited or more fulfilled.”
The main dials are Convenience, Travel, Health/Fitness, Experiences, Freedom, Relationships, Generosity, Luxury, Self-improvement, Social Status.
I tried to find the article online but failed, so here are the examples of how to work out your money dials:
What give me joy, and makes me “light up”?
What do I need more time for?
What would I do if I had a free day tomorrow?
What things did I spend on recently that lifted my mood?
What ‘happy’ habits/hobbies have I neglected?
What might I regret not doing in the future?
If someone gave me £1000, which dial would I spend it on?
“They’re called dials because you can turn them up or down as your funds allow.”
Yeah, I need to work on the turning down part, but it’s nice to just remind myself that going to the cinema with my 18yo is more important to me than having that money in savings. That travel with friends (most likely to see you know who) is going to be more of a priority for me than, say, adding to my measly pension.
Which dial do you have turned right up and which isn’t even switched on? Let me know in the comments!
What I’ve been reading…
I love Sophie Heawood’s newsletter,
, and this part of a recent post about finding a flat to rent after trying unsuccessfully to buy resonated with me:I will retire a rich lady with a big house on Hampstead Heath, I have often muttered, in one of those fantasies where it is has to be huge and absolute and a different life altogether for it to happen, ie never.
(My own fantasy life is in Covent Garden.)
Sophie, after finding the flat:
And when I said I would retire a rich lady who owned a massive house on Hampstead Heath, what I should have said was I will downsize my needs and make a compromise and rent somewhere small but lovely a brisk walk away from the much cheaper side of the Heath, and do it now, in this life, as me.
Do it now, in this life, as me.
I am working on this all the time.
This newsletter does take time to put together, so if it’s possible for you to support me with a paid subscription I’d be really grateful.
Interview with Eve Ainsworth
Eve is a working class, award-winning and Carnegie nominated children’s author, who has written for both middle grade and teen readers. Her debut novel for adults, Duckling, was published by Penguin Random House in Spring 2022.
Eve has vast experience working as a public speaker and creative workshop coordinator for schools, libraries and other events both nationally and internationally. She also is an experienced mentor and is very passionate about helping those from disadvantaged backgrounds.
Why do you think women are often reluctant to talk about money?
It’s an interesting question. I come from a working-class background, so money has always been a difficult subject to talk about. When I was young, it was just a given that we didn’t have any! But it would’ve seemed rude or out of place to question why. We just didn’t talk about those sorts of things.
As an adult, I still avoid money conversations. I have a deep-rooted fear of being poor again or making a mistake with money. If I was doing well, I would worry about jinxing it by talking about it. Therefore, I’ve always found its easier to stay quiet and hope for the best. I don’t think I’ve ever been without money anxiety.
What is your relationship with money currently?
Not good. I have trust issues! I constantly worry about being poor, but on the flip side, I’ve never been good at saving and investing. I was never taught about these things, so my instinct, when I was younger and had fewer financial burdens, was to spend freely and enjoy the small luxuries I couldn’t afford growing up (nice clothes, make up, a holiday) I used to think – ‘I work hard, I’ve earnt this and I never had this when I was growing up, so why deny myself?’ – now I regret not saving more for a rainy day, not getting on the property ladder sooner, etc.
Now, with the cost of living crisis, we have renewed financial pressures - and due to health problems and a looming recession, I am back to worrying about money constantly. It’s quite exhausting. I try to educate my children to be more savvy.
What’s your earliest money memory?
Saving up 50ps for our electric meter. 50ps were valuable things. You could never spend them. We kept them on a little shelf by the meter itself. If we ever ran out, there was this feeling of real panic. Then we would hear the whirring sound as the electric began to turn off
Still to this day, I struggle to spend a 50p.
What do you teach your kids about money?
I try and teach my kids to save money. Money they get for birthdays, etc., is always put into savings and I think it’s important to understand the true value of things too. Some things have to be earned and some things you have to wait for. I think both my children are sick of me saying how important it is to spend your money wisely, but I’m hoping it will set them up well in the future.
How do you think being working class has affected how you think about money? Do you have imposter syndrome? Always feel grateful rather than valuable (oh wait, that’s me).
I think I always have this deep rooted feeling that I don’t deserve to earn money and if I’m ever doing well I have to justify it I’m some way. I definitely have imposter syndrome! Even browsing in expensive shops, I expect the security guard to be following me around, or that the shop assistants will know that I’m “a bit common”
I’m also a terrible hoarder of food. I have to make sure there are extra tins of beans in the cupboard, a tin of soup, rice, pasta. I can never run out. This comes from times when we didn’t have enough food in the house as a child.
What’s the biggest money mistake you’ve made?
Not buying a property sooner. We considered buying a house in London when the prices were much lower. Instead, we spent lots of money on our wedding. I loved our wedding – but I often wonder how much better off we would have been if we had invested more wisely
Also, I would have started a pension more sooner
What’s the best thing you’ve ever spent money on?
My first car. I was so proud to own my own second hand mini in my forties. Something that was under my name and my responsibility.
It’s obviously not great for investment etc, but it gave me great joy.
Do you have a pension? If not, do you have a plan?
I have a work pension – but my career has been very choppy and as a result, so has my pension. This is another thing that worries me.
Did anything surprise you about the financial side of publishing?
Yes, lots! It’s badly paid for a start! And because of the way advances are paid (if you get them) you can be waiting months, or years for a portion of the payment -which isn’t great when you have bills to pay.
I love being a writer, it’s a dream come true in many ways, but I often wish the money was better distributed throughout the industry. I know of so many writers who are struggling financially.
What would you do with £10,000?
Even this question gives me anxiety, because I worry that I might do the wrong thing!
I think I would probably use it towards our house, which badly needs redecorating. Or if not, I would try to invest it somehow.
I am working on it too! #nowinthislifeasme