My dad made all the financial arrangements until I got married and my husband took over.
Decades series: nineties
Hi and welcome to The Ladybird Purse, my weekly newsletter about women and money.
Happy New Year! I’m starting the year with the ninth - and, let’s face it, probably final - post in my series looking at money experiences and attitudes through life, decade by decade. You can find links to the previous posts at the end.
Nineties
Marion, aged 93, with her granddaughter, Amber, who I interviewed here.
How were financial decisions made within your family when you were growing up?
My dad made all the financial arrangements until I got married and then my husband Jack took over.
What did your parents teach you about money? Intentionally or otherwise.
We were always so poor; we had to be careful what we used money wise. Even though my dad worked all through the war (in the steel industry), he wasn’t earning good money.
Did you experience any financial challenges when you started your career?
It was nice to get a wage, but I used to give it to my mother. She would then give me pocket money from it. The war was just finished so it was a very difficult time. I left school and started working full time at the age of 14.
How has your perspective on money changed over time?
I don’t think about money at all. My daughter gets all that I need. She pays for clothes and medication, stuff for my hair. I only think about not having enough to bury me when I die but Joy (daughter) tells me that will all be taken care of.
What are the biggest lessons you've learned about managing money?
I haven’t really learned any because Jack (husband) always did the financial side. I looked after the home. We didn’t have much money. What he earnt had to feed the four of us.
There was a time when we were eating chops for dinner. Jack had 2 chops and Brian (son) said, “I could eat 2 chops.” So I replied, “Yes, when you’re working and bringing money home, you can.”
Have you encountered any gender-specific financial challenges or biases?
No. When I was young, I used to work for the Coop. You used to get a £5 ticket to buy £5 worth of goods and pay it off a shilling a week. Dad used to deal with it all back then, then Jack (husband).
How did you approach saving for retirement or planning for the future?
I didn’t save. I didn’t plan for the future. You could work and not pay insurance then, so I didn’t.
When the children went to school, I did a little job at the care home. When I came to retire the lady on the phone gave me the wrong information. She said I was too old. I could have paid a stamp. When I retired, I didn’t have a pension. Joy (daughter) rang them and they said I couldn’t pay into the pension scheme. So Joy wrote to the local MP. They took up the case and said I could pay the back money of £400 and then I could get a pension. It wasn’t much of a pension. Jack (husband) got a good pension when he retired. We paid the £400 and I received a small pension.
What advice would you give to younger generations of women when it comes to finances?
I always believed that a man had a part to play so I would leave all the financial things to Jack. When the woman takes on everything it leaves nothing for the man to do. When Jack would say things were a bit tight, I would be extra careful. We were more alright than we weren’t.
When I was told I’d receive 6 pence a week pension I wanted to tell them to keep it! But Joy said that I wouldn’t get a Christmas bonus so I said, “I’ll have it then.”
It was cheaper to buy things then like food and clothes.
I used to bake, so we saved money that way.
Financially, men are quite good with things. I experienced that with my dad and Jack. Some men would abuse the money though so I can only speak for myself.
Paid subscriptions enable me to keep writing these newsletters and talking to inspirational women. If you’re not a paid subscriber already, I’d love it if you’d consider upgrading. (And if you are, thank you, I love you.)
If you would like a paid sub, but can’t swing it right now, email me and I’ll sort it.
This is such an insightful interview - how much things have changed in actually not that many years, It's breathtaking. And it made me well up! Reminds me how my dad says that he used to work and give him mum his wage, and she'd give him pocket money. And then when he married my mum, she started off handling the finances until it became clear she was great at spending but not so great at budgeting. So yes, then it did go to him to look after the finances, though she always worked so she could feel like she had her own money. I love the autonomy women have today, and the opportunities, but I can see how life is simpler in some ways and harder in others.
Oh my lovely nana 🥰 times have been so hard in her lifetime. Yet there was such simplicity to it and meaning.
She tells me they were happier then than we are now (as do all elderly clients I’ve worked with). That there was less comparison because you were all poor together.
I have such a complicated relationship with privilege, because so much of it isn’t serving us and so much of it i see as birthright. Why the great imbalance?