Oh my lovely nana 🥰 times have been so hard in her lifetime. Yet there was such simplicity to it and meaning.
She tells me they were happier then than we are now (as do all elderly clients I’ve worked with). That there was less comparison because you were all poor together.
I have such a complicated relationship with privilege, because so much of it isn’t serving us and so much of it i see as birthright. Why the great imbalance?
I have been thinking a lot recently about poverty (a subject close to my heart 😅) and how, for me at least, a big part of the problem of it, in addition to not having the money for things you need, is the social exclusion and alienation that comes along with it. I wonder whether, if everyone in your social circle is poor alongside you, that makes/made it slightly easier to deal with?
This is such a hard thing to talk about. I am so grateful to Keris for this space to talk about money.
Of course - you make such a good point there around it not just being (what I’ve come to see as) the pillar of finances that’s negatively effected, it goes beyond that into the other pillars of health too.
I’d suggest that if there is a social circle of poverty alongside you, there is community.
Back when I found myself disabled by illness in 2018, interestingly, the 2 things I needed the most were support (of the emotional kind) and an income (to keep a roof over my head and food on the table).
It was in those darkest and most desolate times that I realised what truly mattered most.
This is such an insightful interview - how much things have changed in actually not that many years, It's breathtaking. And it made me well up! Reminds me how my dad says that he used to work and give him mum his wage, and she'd give him pocket money. And then when he married my mum, she started off handling the finances until it became clear she was great at spending but not so great at budgeting. So yes, then it did go to him to look after the finances, though she always worked so she could feel like she had her own money. I love the autonomy women have today, and the opportunities, but I can see how life is simpler in some ways and harder in others.
This was my mother's experience regarding money. I've had to be more involved as an adult in financial matters, which I think is better. But yes there is a simplicity to it as others have suggested.
I think that now both men and women take on the role of worrying and thinking about everything. Although research shows women take on more of the mental load generally. The simplicity of wife does x and husband does y is something to think about, although it’d be nice for the individual to chose which role as I’d make an awful house wife 😆
Beautiful woman your nan Amber, I can see her happiness glowing through her face 😁 💚
Yes, I definitely wouldn’t want to give up all financial responsibility in real life. And even though I was responsible for admin, bills, etc., when I was married, it’s so much easier now I’m not. But it would be nice not to have to think about it at all.
Wouldn’t it be nice not to think about it all but still have a say? I know my grandma struggled massively when my grandad died as she’d never had to think about it before and had no idea if she had enough money for anything. She had supportive children and I remember her saying it’s good to have kids to support you (hmmm I feel like I need to write about that as it’s stirred something in me).
Why is it easier now you’re not married (I can have a guess)? 💚
That was the first photo she let me take of her, she always hated her picture taken! It’s my absolute fave (only one of a very small number) I have with her.
Yes to the choosing of roles, I hear you on the house wife! Rael is downstairs cooking tea. I relate so much to my own mum now in what I struggle these types of chores are!
I envisage a world where we each work to our strengths in combination with our preferences and desires. We’d sure find a lot of balance there. Businesses as well as family life would boom. It’s a wonder we haven’t figured it out yet. Collectively speaking.
I love this photo, it’s beautiful. I’m glad she let you take it. My grandma was the same, she couldn’t stand her photo being taken. I’m glad she let some be taken as that’s all I have now to remember her by.
I love that future world you envisage, I think it’s our lot who are shaping that for our future generations. It’s taken two generations to go from wife and husband roles to what we are today, I feel hopefully for what’s to come 💚🥰
Very revealing about attitudes (and shortages) post WWII. My mum gave her wages to her mother when she first started working. There was little sense of financial autonomy.
oh bless, she is gorgeous. it's so fascinating to hear these stories and realise how vital financial autonomy and knowledge is. would love if you could speak to some of the WASPI women (if you haven't already)
Oh my lovely nana 🥰 times have been so hard in her lifetime. Yet there was such simplicity to it and meaning.
She tells me they were happier then than we are now (as do all elderly clients I’ve worked with). That there was less comparison because you were all poor together.
I have such a complicated relationship with privilege, because so much of it isn’t serving us and so much of it i see as birthright. Why the great imbalance?
Completely agree. And it’s getting worse and worse. I truly don’t understand and it makes me so sad.
I have been thinking a lot recently about poverty (a subject close to my heart 😅) and how, for me at least, a big part of the problem of it, in addition to not having the money for things you need, is the social exclusion and alienation that comes along with it. I wonder whether, if everyone in your social circle is poor alongside you, that makes/made it slightly easier to deal with?
This is such a hard thing to talk about. I am so grateful to Keris for this space to talk about money.
Of course - you make such a good point there around it not just being (what I’ve come to see as) the pillar of finances that’s negatively effected, it goes beyond that into the other pillars of health too.
I’d suggest that if there is a social circle of poverty alongside you, there is community.
Back when I found myself disabled by illness in 2018, interestingly, the 2 things I needed the most were support (of the emotional kind) and an income (to keep a roof over my head and food on the table).
It was in those darkest and most desolate times that I realised what truly mattered most.
Oh! Made me feel quite tearful!
Me too.
🥲
This was really interesting – life used to be so different.
Thank you Keris and Marion. And thank you Amber for introducing us to your lovely nana!
Thanks, Emma.
This is such an insightful interview - how much things have changed in actually not that many years, It's breathtaking. And it made me well up! Reminds me how my dad says that he used to work and give him mum his wage, and she'd give him pocket money. And then when he married my mum, she started off handling the finances until it became clear she was great at spending but not so great at budgeting. So yes, then it did go to him to look after the finances, though she always worked so she could feel like she had her own money. I love the autonomy women have today, and the opportunities, but I can see how life is simpler in some ways and harder in others.
Absolutely this.
This was my mother's experience regarding money. I've had to be more involved as an adult in financial matters, which I think is better. But yes there is a simplicity to it as others have suggested.
Yes, I’m all about having that control or at the very least knowledge. But it would be relaxing not to have to even think about it.
Beautiful - wow how times have changed. Baking to save money - it definitely wouldn't be the case now. A lovely read thanks guys. xx
I think that now both men and women take on the role of worrying and thinking about everything. Although research shows women take on more of the mental load generally. The simplicity of wife does x and husband does y is something to think about, although it’d be nice for the individual to chose which role as I’d make an awful house wife 😆
Beautiful woman your nan Amber, I can see her happiness glowing through her face 😁 💚
Yes, I definitely wouldn’t want to give up all financial responsibility in real life. And even though I was responsible for admin, bills, etc., when I was married, it’s so much easier now I’m not. But it would be nice not to have to think about it at all.
Wouldn’t it be nice not to think about it all but still have a say? I know my grandma struggled massively when my grandad died as she’d never had to think about it before and had no idea if she had enough money for anything. She had supportive children and I remember her saying it’s good to have kids to support you (hmmm I feel like I need to write about that as it’s stirred something in me).
Why is it easier now you’re not married (I can have a guess)? 💚
That was the first photo she let me take of her, she always hated her picture taken! It’s my absolute fave (only one of a very small number) I have with her.
Yes to the choosing of roles, I hear you on the house wife! Rael is downstairs cooking tea. I relate so much to my own mum now in what I struggle these types of chores are!
I envisage a world where we each work to our strengths in combination with our preferences and desires. We’d sure find a lot of balance there. Businesses as well as family life would boom. It’s a wonder we haven’t figured it out yet. Collectively speaking.
I love this photo, it’s beautiful. I’m glad she let you take it. My grandma was the same, she couldn’t stand her photo being taken. I’m glad she let some be taken as that’s all I have now to remember her by.
I love that future world you envisage, I think it’s our lot who are shaping that for our future generations. It’s taken two generations to go from wife and husband roles to what we are today, I feel hopefully for what’s to come 💚🥰
Very revealing about attitudes (and shortages) post WWII. My mum gave her wages to her mother when she first started working. There was little sense of financial autonomy.
oh bless, she is gorgeous. it's so fascinating to hear these stories and realise how vital financial autonomy and knowledge is. would love if you could speak to some of the WASPI women (if you haven't already)
I haven’t! I’ll look into it, thanks.