I really appreciate these Keris! It's interesting to also listen to the biting commentary that comes from my "Ms. Know it all" inner critic. I have my own gossip circle (something that in real life has always made me cringe!) and Mrs. Crabapple-Sourpuss that loves to indulge in judgemental surplus aside notes. It can get quite noisy in my head... Lucky for me I've also come across Internal Family Systems that help get my own inner "society". That Mrs. Crabapple-Sourpuss made sure to point out to me what a failure I am because I have debt.
I love this space you've created for many reasons, one of which is understanding other women's "struggles", not quite the right word. It's so easy to default to the negative and these sketches of what one has and what one wants put me out of that into something much more nuanced. "Listen" is something paying attention to this year. "Active listening" is a skill I seem to have neglected...
When one learns to step back from all the thoughts that roll through the mind and observes instead and then let's them roll on through for the most part, things start to happen.
Hope you don't mind the essay. If we were all having coffee or tea in my garden, I do wonder what would come up.
For now,many thanks to you and to all the women who have shared their stories with you and with us!
Thanks so much, Corrine! I'm fairly new to IFS, but it makes so much sense to me and I'm keen to learn more. So much noise in my head!
As for debt... I've completely switched my attitude to it, partly due to Dana Miranda's brilliant book, You Don't Need a Budget, and partly due to the state of the world. Apparently the only debt that is considered to be bad is personal (consumer) debt. And even then, only certain types of debt. (Mortgages are encouraged!) I suspect the only "bad" debt is the debt taken on by people with less money. (You know, the ones who need it most!)
Rich people pile debt on all the time! Businesses borrow endlessly in enormous amounts. I just googled and, according to Wikipedia, at the end of March 2023, UK general government gross debt was £2,537 billion. And I'm supposed to feel ashamed of the few grand I owe? Sorry. I refuse. Money is made up and life is short. If I can borrow money to, say, take one of my kids* to Copenhagen for the weekend I'm going to say fuck it and do it. And yes, I know this kind of debt is expensive, but turns out I don't much care.
And of course I don't mind your essay! Hope you don't mind my ranting reply :D
*the other one went away with his dad, I didn't make them draw straws.
Perimenopause and menopause in my home are referred to as “moon fuckery.” Invoked during periods of intense personal heat that require standing in front of the open fridge for a few minutes in order to cool down.
I really appreciate these Keris! It's interesting to also listen to the biting commentary that comes from my "Ms. Know it all" inner critic. I have my own gossip circle (something that in real life has always made me cringe!) and Mrs. Crabapple-Sourpuss that loves to indulge in judgemental surplus aside notes. It can get quite noisy in my head... Lucky for me I've also come across Internal Family Systems that help get my own inner "society". That Mrs. Crabapple-Sourpuss made sure to point out to me what a failure I am because I have debt.
I love this space you've created for many reasons, one of which is understanding other women's "struggles", not quite the right word. It's so easy to default to the negative and these sketches of what one has and what one wants put me out of that into something much more nuanced. "Listen" is something paying attention to this year. "Active listening" is a skill I seem to have neglected...
When one learns to step back from all the thoughts that roll through the mind and observes instead and then let's them roll on through for the most part, things start to happen.
Hope you don't mind the essay. If we were all having coffee or tea in my garden, I do wonder what would come up.
For now,many thanks to you and to all the women who have shared their stories with you and with us!
Oh and Happy Birthday!!!! Go Keris!!!
Thank you! Also, I'm working on a reply to your final AMA question and it will hopefully go up on Thursday.
Thanks so much, Corrine! I'm fairly new to IFS, but it makes so much sense to me and I'm keen to learn more. So much noise in my head!
As for debt... I've completely switched my attitude to it, partly due to Dana Miranda's brilliant book, You Don't Need a Budget, and partly due to the state of the world. Apparently the only debt that is considered to be bad is personal (consumer) debt. And even then, only certain types of debt. (Mortgages are encouraged!) I suspect the only "bad" debt is the debt taken on by people with less money. (You know, the ones who need it most!)
Rich people pile debt on all the time! Businesses borrow endlessly in enormous amounts. I just googled and, according to Wikipedia, at the end of March 2023, UK general government gross debt was £2,537 billion. And I'm supposed to feel ashamed of the few grand I owe? Sorry. I refuse. Money is made up and life is short. If I can borrow money to, say, take one of my kids* to Copenhagen for the weekend I'm going to say fuck it and do it. And yes, I know this kind of debt is expensive, but turns out I don't much care.
And of course I don't mind your essay! Hope you don't mind my ranting reply :D
*the other one went away with his dad, I didn't make them draw straws.
Great piece and HBD!
Thank you!
Perimenopause and menopause in my home are referred to as “moon fuckery.” Invoked during periods of intense personal heat that require standing in front of the open fridge for a few minutes in order to cool down.
I love “moon fuckery” 😂
Happy birthday! Mine was the 27th. :)
Thanks! Happy Birthday to you too! 🎈